Kristin, 33

By: Laura K.

I love: hiking, traveling, Netflix & chill (for real haha), Anusara yoga, absolute power, dim sum.

Looking for someone smart, sexy, and FUN! Something serious, but not too serious, you know? Also an enforcer/bag man/front man/eventual fall guy in my plot for world domination.

Send: two most recent checking account statements, grad-school transcripts, dick pic with standard ruler, five-minute date-stamped workout video, and firearm certification (safety first! LOL).

Divorced is fine — no kids though. Foreign-language and/or explosives knowledge a definite plus.

(…you’ll just look at my cleavage and swipe right, but can’t say I didn’t warn you!)

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑