Vitamin D is a Glorious Thing

By: Melissa Ratliff

“You can stick it where the sun don’t shine.”

“Not only is that unoriginal, it’s also a load of crap. Pun intended.”


“Ever been Vitamin D deficient, because I have.”

“What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

“I was on a prescription of 100,000 units per day. Trust me, that’s a lot. And want to know what I discovered after a month? That much Vitamin D will make you feel like sunshine is shooting right out of your ass. So the saying is dumb, that’s what.”

“Why are you so weird?”

“I like being weird.”


The Argument

By: Steve Fite

Arguments start simply enough.
One party gets upset by something. Or maybe it’s a bunch of somethings that came to a head and suddenly it seems like the one thing is far more important than it might be.

The other party is confused.
But then they start thinking that if the other person is upset by this, what about all the other things that they let slide by because it didn’t seem important enough to get into an argument.
And now they’re both in an argument armed with the ammunition of everything that singularly didn’t seem worthy of an argument.

An Act of Futility

By: Adam Donshik

There’s an old kind of fight that’s happening here. And, by old, I mean biblical-old. The kind of fight that shifts paradigms; situates parties on either side of the good-bad divide; makes you question your sanity and your will to persist. Going into it I know full-well I’m not going to win, and, yet, here I am moronically barreling forward. Clearly, I was either dropped as a child or some part of me loves being masochistic. Each time I say it’s the last. Each time, a lie.

Once more unto the breach.

“Bedtime. You need to turn off the TV.”

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