hi i’m jeffrey

By: Lauren Spagnoletti

my therapist says i need to find a woman who can love my cats as much as i do. my siamese, missy smooches, would be most jealous. she’s my favorite. she doesn’t pee on pillows as much anymore, so a new girlfriend shouldn’t be a big deal for her. my mother says i need to find a girl to cook for me as much as she does. she still comes by everyday to make me dinner, but she only wants to come over on weekends. that leaves five nights for someone to cook and watch wheel of fortune with me.

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