Classy Introvert

By: Melissa Ratliff

People hating introvert looking for any semblance of a connection. 37 with sagging tits and adult acne, self ranked 3.5. Life motto: makeup can fuck off. Enjoys long naps on the couch, belittling men, watching romantic comedies, binge eating Cheetos, and feeding my 10 lethal ferrets. Can’t cook, lousy with an iron, and overall failing at domestication. Massive credit card debt from retail therapy. Follower of none, but Satan seems cool. Sperm donors welcome, as feeling the need to push out another ungrateful offspring. Won’t give it up until at least the 32nd date though, because I’m classy like that.

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